It takes 3 Years...

Many dream about it, plan for it, and attempt it. Here are my thoughts and experiences about moving abroad from your motherland (village, city, country, continent—wherever you come from).

Moving to a different country is an exhilarating, challenging, and deeply transformative experience, says someone who has done it multiple times. Often you hear stories of people who "moved and lived somewhere," and then you ask: for how long? The answer you get might be: three weeks, two and a half months, two quarters, one semester. That feels more like taking a long vacation from their regular lives (maybe that’s why working holiday visas exist!). Actually moving to a new country is a completely different thing.

While many believe that within a few months or even a year they will feel fully integrated, you need at least three years to truly land, discover, and embrace the local culture. Of course, some may disagree with it, but three years are the necessary horizon to really plug into the new reality and make yourself part of the new environment. Here’s why...

Year 1: Landing

The first year in a new country is overwhelming. You arrive with excitement and perhaps a bit of anxiety, eager to explore but also faced with a steep learning curve. This year is primarily about understanding where you are and how the social, professional, and ecosystem work. You are landing.

You are answering questions like: Where should I live? Should I set up a new bank account, and if so, which one? Should I use public transport or get my own vehicle (car or scooter)? You are entering a completely new system. On a deeper level, you are learning how social interactions work—how to meet new people, make friends, and build relationships. Workplace etiquette, local humor, and societal expectations all take time to grasp...

All this gets amplified if you do not speak the language (but let’s assume you do!). Communication involves much more than just words—it’s about body language, unwritten rules, and social habits.

This first year is a revolutionary experience—everything is so new and different from your habits and past experiences that you are not yet in a position to fully appreciate or understand your true sentiments about it. You can only enjoy the ride as it comes, one day at a time, one mistake at a time, one experience at a time. Explore the local cuisine (if any), popular landmarks, and new people. Absorb as much as you can—enough does not exist at this stage. You are an absorber and observer, not yet a participant in the culture. One year flies by very fast!

Year 2: Consolidation

The second year is when the initial excitement begins to fade, and reality starts to kick in. You already have your routine: your coffee shop, your grocery store, your new group of friends (who, like you, may have landed last year), or new colleagues at work. You’ve turned 1 (happy birthday!🎂 ) in your new life chapter, and now you begin to discover your inner-you and start the journey of self-discovery.

This phase is similar to completing your tax return 🤯—a reflection on your emotional and social investments in the new country. By now, you have built a network, but you begin to truly assess which relationships are meaningful and which were just surface-level acquaintances. You are starting the consolidation phase.

You’ve likely encountered frustrations, whether in bureaucratic processes, social integration, or missing home. But these challenges force you to define your place within this society.

You also experience a full solar cycle of events —seasons 🌅, holidays🌴, festivals🎸, local events and traditions🌃. Maybe some "new" friend left (already ?!) - (How do you feel about that?). You've seen how life flows across different times of the year. You’ve started to understand how people behave in different situations, and you are no longer just a newcomer but someone who can engage with the culture in a more profound way. You’ll notice this when you are able to give directions to lost tourists on the street.

Subconsciously, emotions about things will start to pop up from time to time. Inner-you self-discovery kicks in, and you may have flashbacks to previous chapters of your life—how you were, uncomfortable situations you faced. You start questioning your (new) identity.

It’s a good idea to, by mid-year 2, start taking some time apart and let this inner voice come out to reflect on your journey so far. There is no right or wrong answer—only your feelings. You may feel an urge to adapt fully, or you might struggle with a sense of cultural limbo, not fully belonging to your home country nor your new one. It's fine. These existential reflections are necessary to truly integrate, rather than just exist in a new place. Keep up!

Year 3: Confirmation

By the time you reach Year 3, you are on a roll 🏄‍♂️. But is this year the most critical—or the most exciting? 😃 This is the year of confirmation. Do you like it or not? This is when your inner-you truly assesses whether you love your new home or if it’s time to leave.

By now, you have a clear understanding of how things work, and you are no longer a foreigner trying to figure everything out. You either feel at home, or you don’t. This is the year when people should, could, and would ideally make the right decisions—whether to continue living here for the long term, move back home, or perhaps try another country altogether.

If you choose to stay, it means you have found your rhythm, embraced the culture, and truly feel like part of the local ecosystem. If you decide to leave, it simply means you are ready for your next chapter—whatever that may be. And for some (it happened to me a couple of times), this third year is simply a moment to reevaluate and give it another shot before making any permanent decisions.

Be Patient. Be Open. Growth needs Time

Many people underestimate the time it takes to truly adapt to a new country, and more importantly, to understand and connect with your inner self. The idea that one should feel completely at home within a year is often unrealistic. Culture shock comes in waves, and deep integration takes patience, effort, and emotional resilience.

Understanding that this process takes at least three years can make your transition smoother and less stressful. It allows you to approach the experience with more realistic expectations and less pressure to have everything figured out right away. It also gives you the mental space to embrace the ups and downs without feeling like you’ve failed when challenges arise.

Moving abroad is not just about physically relocating—it’s about emotional and psychological adaptation. It’s a journey that requires time, self-reflection, and a willingness to embrace both the beautiful and difficult aspects of a new world.

If you are currently in the process of moving to a different country, give yourself time. Three years might seem like a long period, but don't be scared of the land-consolidate-confirm process—it will pay off in the end. Whether you stay or move on, you will have gained invaluable experiences that shape your perspective on the world—and on yourself.

Three years to find your new world—and your new self. It’s worth it!🤓

Good luck 🚀

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